Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Rejection: Good for the Soul?

What is it in our make up that makes us so afraid of rejection? Seriously. What is it?

I took a huge step today toward what will quite possibly end in rejection. I sent in a song to a songwriting competition. It is now completely out of my hands and on it's way as we speak to Lake Forest. I'm terrified. I keep telling myself that it is good no matter what the outcome. I mean, I did it! I should get some points for bravery right? Even after all the time spent talking to myself I'm still terrified (maybe I should be terrified about the amount of time I spend talking to myself instead of the song... ey well).

Have any of you done something that absolutely terrified you but in the long run you know just the act of doing it made you a stronger, better person? All 2 of you who read this please respond! I want to know what kinds of rejection you risked!

Monday, April 28, 2008

What Do Beethoven, Mozart, Purcell, and Bach All Have in Common?

I haven't studied them enough.

I'm listening to Beethoven's 5th symphony right now in a last minute attempt to immerse myself in it before my test today, and my music major friend is going to help me out at lunch. 65% here i come! 

Note to the children: STUDY BEFORE THE DAY OF YOUR TEST!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Am I Missing Something?

Do you ever get that feeling that you are missing something terribly, terribly important?

I have that feeling everyday. 90% of the people I know at school are in freak out, living dead mode because finals are three weeks away. I, however, have precious little to do before finals and I'm getting a little nervous. I have the usual homework and a few little paper re-writes to do, but other than that... pretty much nothing.

I keep telling myself that it's because bible major classes tend to be top heavy and the professors have a general tendency to make you cry in the beginning and then assign absolutely nothing at the end... yet, i'm still not confident.

Is it because I dropped that one class? Does three units really make that much of a difference to one's stress levels?! Anyhoodle, since next year I will have a full load again I'm just going to enjoy this slow, mellow ride for as long as I can (i.e. 3 more weeks) and pray that I'm not missing something.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Was Kindergarten Really That Long Ago?

Question. Shouldn't juniors in college be able to write papers well?

I spent a few hours yesterday editing some papers for a class and I was surprised to see that although their ideas were good they just didn't follow the rules.

Isn't following the rules something we are supposed to learn in kindergarten?

Fact. People are lazy.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Please. No One Shoot Me For Saying This.

*Please note that this is not a broad statement about all missionaries, pastors, people in general... It is simply my experience and a question I have.

I spent three years in a highschool youthgroup that had a tendency to put those who were interested in or decided to dedicate their lives to full time over seas missions on a pedestal. Granted, missions is necessary and my proverbial hat is off to those who have this calling on their life and obey it. However, for those of us who do not have a passion for or feel a calling to this way of life it was always a bit frustrating and confusing. I'm sure the intention of our leaders was never to make those who weren't going into overseas missions feel as if they weren't serving God, but unfortunately, they brought in speaker after speaker who either implied that or said those very words. I believe that the missionfield is all around us and one person is not serving a higher calling than another simply because he/she is serving God overseas (or in Mexico).

After the second or third time a speaker made this intimation, I, being my quiet, timid, soft-spoken self, very patiently voiced my concerns and questions about this teaching. NOT! The truth is, I got really frustrated and marched up to my youthpastor and said, "what the heck?!" Yes. I know this was not the best approach, but have someone imply or say that you are not serving God in what you feel called to do and see how you react! I was never given a satisfactory explanation, and was told to examine why that bugged me so much.

So... I examined... and examined... and examined (ok, that's probably a slight exageration because, lets face it, i get bored pretty quickly and examining takes a lot of patience and insight that I didn't really have in highschool, and still am working towards).

I was still frustrated.

Why is this so often the case when missionaries speak? I have known so many wonderful missionaries, and I am so glad that there are people in this world with a passion to spread the name of Christ to every corner of this world. But why do so many lay on the guilt trip?

The truth is, God made each one of us differently and he gave us all different passions, abilities, and ministry assignments. Each one of us has been wired by God for different things. What would happen to Christians in the U.S. if every pastor up and left to minister over seas? What would the U.S. look like if every Christian grew up and left it? Every person on this earth matters to God, and therefore should matter to those who love Him. Every person. Including those in the U.S. America needs us to! Yes, we may have freedom, and money, and stuff... but does that mean we are not hurting and desperately in need of a savior? No.

I think I understand why those who decide to move to Afghanistan get more recognition than those who choose to stay in Orange County, San Diego, the Bay Area, and every other city with billions. It is more of a sacrifice to uproot yourself and move to Afghanistan, and granted much more dangerous and culturally difficult. But I would appreciate it if the same encouragement and appreciation was shown to those Christians who God has called to be pastors, school teachers, lawyers, social workers, musicians, stay at home moms/dads, etc. They are doing the work of the Lord, and they are equally as important to the body of Christ.

Please understand that I am in no way belittling the work that overseas missionaries do. That would be horrible of me. I am simply asking that we as Christians not be so quick to elevate one ministry assignment over another and to keep in mind that as much as the corners of the world need Jesus, so does your country. Pray for them and develop a passion for the people of America just as it is so easy to do for the people of much more less fortunate country.

Think about what a better place America would be for those refugees fleeing their countries to find safety here!

P.S. Sorry this is so long.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Sad Realizations

No one reads this thing.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008


A good family is a wonderful thing.

I spent this weekend in the mountains with my family and our close friends. We were celebrating my mom's birthday and generally enjoying each other.

When you can simply enjoy one another for who you are it really makes life interesting and joyful. The volume level this weekend would shock some people, but to me it represented the vibrant life present in our friends and family and the love between each of us.

I pray that I never take for granted the family I have been blessed with and the extended family that has been given to me through close friends. It hit me this weekend especially hard that I have been blessed with not only fantastic parents, but my parents friends and my Aunts and Uncles. They are people I have grown up with, love dearly, and have no doubt in my mind that they would love me and my sisters as their own if they ever needed to.

Even though I am pretty sure that none of them read this blog I still want to say thank you and I love you with all my heart!

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Baseball's Back, Oh yeah!

The boys are back in town (well, actually in Minnesota... but soon they'll be back in town), and I will soon be at the stadium again. All will be well (wow. that's a lot of double L's).

The first game was a disappointing one. We had a chance and we lost it (yes, I refer to a team I have nothing to do with as "we"... get over it, it's what real fans do). I won't bore you with the details, but lets say I read about the game after in ended (stupid lack of cable!) and I wanted to cry.

We'll do better tomorrow, I just know it. Look how pumped K-Rod is!

P.S. I know you don't care, so just humor me. Oh, and I also apologize for the Backstreet Boys reference in my title, I just couldn't resist.