My sisters and I talked last night about the most difficult part of our lives at this point. Making decisions that will effect the rest of our lives. Grad school, no grad school? Graduate, don't graduate (oh calm down, i'm just joking)? Will the decisions we make now be beneficial or detrimental to where we want to go in our lives? The questioning can drive you batty. All three of us agreed that this big decision making is just part of life, and something that will not go away. Yet, we still wonder how to make the best decisions for our personalities, future goals, desires, and God-given abilities. Thankfully, God pushes us in directions (be it ever so gently sometimes) that ultimately shape our lives. Coming into Biola at 18 I had a certain direction in mind. God has since changed that direction, while not quite giving me the rest of the picture.
I'm starting to realize that just as i'm quite positive i'm not cut out for a 9-5 desk job or the corporate world at all, i'm not sure i'm cut out for full-time vocational ministry either (which is where I thought God was leading me). I might be just a little to confrontational and intense for that life. Somehow I think that telling someone you're counseling that "their life probably would be better if they'd stop wining and make the right choices" wouldn't go over very well. I don't know where God is directing me, but I know that He is and I'll cling to that. I'll keep looking into ideas that pop into my head, and in a year and a half (Graduation day!) hopefully i'll have narrowed down some of my possibilities.
Sometimes I miss when life's decisions consisted of "princess of prairie girl?"