Monday, February 01, 2010

Guilianna and Bill

I have a little confession to make. I'm secretly in love with the E! Reality show Guilianna and Bill. It's absolutely horrible and rediculous but I can't stop watching it. It's like a train-wreck. In so many ways.

Guilianna has absolutely no idea that even though they have signed their lives away to E! in order to make even more money than they already do (Guilianna is an E! "news" correspondent and Bill won the Apprentice at some point), she doesn't actually have to tell every gritty detail of their life and their marriage. This results in lots of eye rolling and uncomfortable squirming from the either incredibly weak or incredibly patient Bill. It is so awkward I just can't help but watch. One of my favorite moments was when the doctor told her she had to gain 5 pounds or she wouldn't be able to have a baby (because you know, baby's need nutrients and all. Also, her body would probably just eat the baby thinking she had finally fed it something). She freaked out and starting whining about how she can't gain weight because of her job and how her clothes won't fit and blah blah blah... Newsflash Guilianna darling: 5 pounds will still make you about 25 pounds underweight. I don't think they'll fire you, but it might make you look like a normal person instead of someone who needs about 15 sandwiches shoved down their throat stat. And if they do fire you, sue their pants off and go buy yourself a cheeseburger.

Now. On to Bill. I don't get him. He seems like a perfectly nice person and yet he married Ms. Anorexic big-head who publically declares that it's his fault they can't have children, drags him to "doctors" in order to figure out why their "energy" is all off, and who seriously considered not having children so that she wouldn't have to gain 5 pounds. Does she not know that pregnancy generally makes you rotund and volumptuous and that it's a wonderful excuse to not do crunches for 9 months? Seriously Bill. What's the deal here? Oh that's right... she bought you a harley.

Now I will go hang my head in shame for writing an entire post about something so wonderfully horrible.

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