Corn and Tijuana

Right about now you are probably asking yourself "How could corn and tijuana go together in the same post? Is she talking about mexican food?" Well, the answer is... they don't! and no i'm not talking about mexican food!

I was looking through some recipes because school's almost over and i'm excited to cook yummy stuff this summer and next year in my new apartment:-). As I was looking at these recipes I realized just how much I hate corn. I really really really hate it. I don't even want to look at it. Ever. Just seeing pictures of it in recipes or seeing the words "corn" in a recipe, or hearing about summer corn makes me a wee bit ill. I really hate it.

Now. You may be wondering what Tijuana has to do with that. Well, i'll tell you. NOTHING! I just got pictures from my trip to Tijuana with my church and I thought I'd share one with you. You're welcome.

Have I mentioned how much I hate corn? Oh, and that strange little square next to the picture is a tiny version of the picture that I couldn't figure out to get rid of.

Have a splendid corn free day!

"Investments"

Isn't it absolutely beautiful? It's mine:-)

I'll be indebt to my father for the rest of my life, but hey, that was bound to happen anyway.

I Say It's Homeschooling's Fault

I have a need for freedom. Whether I choose to use it or not I still need to know it's there. 

I blame this on being homeschooled. Don't get me wrong, homeschooling is a highlight of my life but it messes you up for having to do things when someone else tells you to. By the time I was in 5th grade I had the freedom to do my school in about 2-3 hours and spend the rest of my time doing whatever I wanted. I also had the freedom to do my school wherever I wanted to or wherever my mom happened to need to be. The fact that I spent most of Jr. High and Highschool doing homework in a field near my house doesn't lend itself very well to class room settings. 

I had no problem adjusting at first, but the longer I'm in school the more this desire for freedom keeps creeping up. Being required to be in a certain classroom at a certain time is starting to drive me batty and the thought of a 9-5 job possibly being in my future makes me want to vomit and runaway screaming.

I do not see this desire for freedom and flexibility as a bad thing at all. I loved being homeschooled and I love that it allowed me to pretty much do everything I could possibly think of wanting to do as long as my mom could drive me, but 12 years of that type of freedom will sure make college start to feel smothering after awhile. I think my main desire to homeschool my kids comes from my desire to be able to just get in the car, find a field, start exploring, and call it science. 

Partial freedom in 1 1/2 weeks!!!

David Cook Forever

David Cook rocks and should win American Idol and than the show should stop because they will never be able to top having an ACTUAL musician and rockstar win that show.

I mean seriously. Look at that!

David A. makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Anyone who seemingly voluntarily squints their eyes that much has got to be a little sketch.

Jason Castro is awesome. I love how he can barely finish a sentence and usually just ends up shrugging and smiling.

Syesha... broadway is waiting. Don't make them wait another day!

I Want to Learn Spanish

I went on a Tijuana housebuilding trip this past weekend for the first time. I can't even begin to describe to you the impact it had on my life, but i'm going to try anyway :-)

I had really no idea what to expect even though many of my good friends had been on trips like this in the past and I'd heard all about it, so I was a little nervous. Saturday morning we woke up at 6am, spent time in private devotions, ate breakfast, and than had a time of worship and teaching as a group (about 70 of us when we combined the two churches). That alone was a great experience but the real stuff started after that. 

We followed our fearless leader Steve (his last name was leader to!!) and the man who owned the property through the treacherous Tijuana streets (driving is frickin scary) to the place where he lived and where we would be building a 12x12 addition on to his house for his 4 boys to live in. 

The structure we built by any normal standard would have been considered a nice shack, but to this man it was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time. The pure joy on his face while we were building was like no joy I had never seen before. He eagerly helped when he could but would frequently sit back and just watch with that incredible smile on his face. 

A friend and I had the privilege of taking a break from building to play with about 15 neighborhood children. Laura was able to communicate a little bit with them, but for the most part we just gestured everything we could and they excitedly chattered away in spanish. A little girl named Lupita showed me her secret handshake and hugged me harder than I've ever been hugged by a 7 year old when I left. The joy these children had despite the conditions in which they live was inspiring as well. They love with a pure and devoted love that I pray I exhibit to those around me. 

After starting the project at 10:30am we finished around 5pm. After we finished we all gathered inside the house to pray over it. Once we were all inside Jorge (the dad) began speaking and while he spoke he cried. After he finished Carlos (our resident translator!) explained that Jorge had never thought this was possible with his resources and that he was so happy to see how God blessed him and his family and how much he loved each one of us. He asked for our names so he could continue to pray for us... I cried. 

I am so blessed. This I know. But I also know that I need to be a much better steward of what I have so that I can know the pure joy that being grateful for whatever God gives me brings. God has blessed us immensely here in America, let us be His hands and feet to those who need Him the most. 

"Let me live like you, may I sit beside those who cannot walk.

Let me live like you, may I not forget the poor and the needy,

may I stand with those who need you most

and let me live like you."

P.S. On a much lighter note... I ate Lengua (sp?). Do you know what that is?

B-I-O-L-A

In two-ish weeks I will be done with my second year of college.

I started to list the good and bad from the past two years and I was so blessed to see how much the good outweighs the bad. When I first started at Biola I was miserable. I had great roommates, and some really good friends, but emotionally it was awful.

God has completely changed that around and I have really come to love Biola. It's not perfect, but it's a wonderful school and place to be for now. After I made it passed the crying, and not sleeping or eating part and came to terms with the new stuff I was learning about my own personality it all worked out.

I've learned so much about myself and I know I will continue to learn more, and God's grace and steadfast loving kindness will always carry me through the good and the bad. The past 2 years have been hard but God has shown himself faithful in greater ways than I could ever have imagined. I know that He brought me to the place of feeling absolutely alone in order for me to really know His touch and fulfillment in my heart and life.

God is faithful and the only who can truly fulfill the deepest caverns of your soul. It is God that makes us useful to Him, and He who gives us the power to trust him (yay Holy Spirit! woo hoo!). I'm so grateful that He gives me the power to do whatever He asks me to, because without Him it would be impossible. I'll let King David and King Solomon say the rest.

"I love the Lord, for He heard my voice; He heard my cry for mercy. Because He turned His ear to me, I will call on Him as long as I live." - Psalm 116:1-2

"You are my hiding place; You will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance." - Psalm 32:7

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." - Psalm 32:8

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5

Rejection: Good for the Soul?

What is it in our make up that makes us so afraid of rejection? Seriously. What is it?

I took a huge step today toward what will quite possibly end in rejection. I sent in a song to a songwriting competition. It is now completely out of my hands and on it's way as we speak to Lake Forest. I'm terrified. I keep telling myself that it is good no matter what the outcome. I mean, I did it! I should get some points for bravery right? Even after all the time spent talking to myself I'm still terrified (maybe I should be terrified about the amount of time I spend talking to myself instead of the song... ey well).

Have any of you done something that absolutely terrified you but in the long run you know just the act of doing it made you a stronger, better person? All 2 of you who read this please respond! I want to know what kinds of rejection you risked!

What Do Beethoven, Mozart, Purcell, and Bach All Have in Common?

I haven't studied them enough.

I'm listening to Beethoven's 5th symphony right now in a last minute attempt to immerse myself in it before my test today, and my music major friend is going to help me out at lunch. 65% here i come! 

Note to the children: STUDY BEFORE THE DAY OF YOUR TEST!

Am I Missing Something?

Do you ever get that feeling that you are missing something terribly, terribly important?

I have that feeling everyday. 90% of the people I know at school are in freak out, living dead mode because finals are three weeks away. I, however, have precious little to do before finals and I'm getting a little nervous. I have the usual homework and a few little paper re-writes to do, but other than that... pretty much nothing.

I keep telling myself that it's because bible major classes tend to be top heavy and the professors have a general tendency to make you cry in the beginning and then assign absolutely nothing at the end... yet, i'm still not confident.

Is it because I dropped that one class? Does three units really make that much of a difference to one's stress levels?! Anyhoodle, since next year I will have a full load again I'm just going to enjoy this slow, mellow ride for as long as I can (i.e. 3 more weeks) and pray that I'm not missing something.

Was Kindergarten Really That Long Ago?

Question. Shouldn't juniors in college be able to write papers well?

I spent a few hours yesterday editing some papers for a class and I was surprised to see that although their ideas were good they just didn't follow the rules.

Isn't following the rules something we are supposed to learn in kindergarten?

Fact. People are lazy.

Please. No One Shoot Me For Saying This.

*Please note that this is not a broad statement about all missionaries, pastors, people in general... It is simply my experience and a question I have.

I spent three years in a highschool youthgroup that had a tendency to put those who were interested in or decided to dedicate their lives to full time over seas missions on a pedestal. Granted, missions is necessary and my proverbial hat is off to those who have this calling on their life and obey it. However, for those of us who do not have a passion for or feel a calling to this way of life it was always a bit frustrating and confusing. I'm sure the intention of our leaders was never to make those who weren't going into overseas missions feel as if they weren't serving God, but unfortunately, they brought in speaker after speaker who either implied that or said those very words. I believe that the missionfield is all around us and one person is not serving a higher calling than another simply because he/she is serving God overseas (or in Mexico).

After the second or third time a speaker made this intimation, I, being my quiet, timid, soft-spoken self, very patiently voiced my concerns and questions about this teaching. NOT! The truth is, I got really frustrated and marched up to my youthpastor and said, "what the heck?!" Yes. I know this was not the best approach, but have someone imply or say that you are not serving God in what you feel called to do and see how you react! I was never given a satisfactory explanation, and was told to examine why that bugged me so much.

So... I examined... and examined... and examined (ok, that's probably a slight exageration because, lets face it, i get bored pretty quickly and examining takes a lot of patience and insight that I didn't really have in highschool, and still am working towards).

I was still frustrated.

Why is this so often the case when missionaries speak? I have known so many wonderful missionaries, and I am so glad that there are people in this world with a passion to spread the name of Christ to every corner of this world. But why do so many lay on the guilt trip?

The truth is, God made each one of us differently and he gave us all different passions, abilities, and ministry assignments. Each one of us has been wired by God for different things. What would happen to Christians in the U.S. if every pastor up and left to minister over seas? What would the U.S. look like if every Christian grew up and left it? Every person on this earth matters to God, and therefore should matter to those who love Him. Every person. Including those in the U.S. America needs us to! Yes, we may have freedom, and money, and stuff... but does that mean we are not hurting and desperately in need of a savior? No.

I think I understand why those who decide to move to Afghanistan get more recognition than those who choose to stay in Orange County, San Diego, the Bay Area, and every other city with billions. It is more of a sacrifice to uproot yourself and move to Afghanistan, and granted much more dangerous and culturally difficult. But I would appreciate it if the same encouragement and appreciation was shown to those Christians who God has called to be pastors, school teachers, lawyers, social workers, musicians, stay at home moms/dads, etc. They are doing the work of the Lord, and they are equally as important to the body of Christ.

Please understand that I am in no way belittling the work that overseas missionaries do. That would be horrible of me. I am simply asking that we as Christians not be so quick to elevate one ministry assignment over another and to keep in mind that as much as the corners of the world need Jesus, so does your country. Pray for them and develop a passion for the people of America just as it is so easy to do for the people of much more less fortunate country.

Think about what a better place America would be for those refugees fleeing their countries to find safety here!

P.S. Sorry this is so long.

Sad Realizations

No one reads this thing.

Family

A good family is a wonderful thing.

I spent this weekend in the mountains with my family and our close friends. We were celebrating my mom's birthday and generally enjoying each other.

When you can simply enjoy one another for who you are it really makes life interesting and joyful. The volume level this weekend would shock some people, but to me it represented the vibrant life present in our friends and family and the love between each of us.

I pray that I never take for granted the family I have been blessed with and the extended family that has been given to me through close friends. It hit me this weekend especially hard that I have been blessed with not only fantastic parents, but my parents friends and my Aunts and Uncles. They are people I have grown up with, love dearly, and have no doubt in my mind that they would love me and my sisters as their own if they ever needed to.

Even though I am pretty sure that none of them read this blog I still want to say thank you and I love you with all my heart!

Baseball's Back, Oh yeah!

The boys are back in town (well, actually in Minnesota... but soon they'll be back in town), and I will soon be at the stadium again. All will be well (wow. that's a lot of double L's).

The first game was a disappointing one. We had a chance and we lost it (yes, I refer to a team I have nothing to do with as "we"... get over it, it's what real fans do). I won't bore you with the details, but lets say I read about the game after in ended (stupid lack of cable!) and I wanted to cry.

We'll do better tomorrow, I just know it. Look how pumped K-Rod is!

P.S. I know you don't care, so just humor me. Oh, and I also apologize for the Backstreet Boys reference in my title, I just couldn't resist.

If Only I Could Read Non-Ancient Greek

I know I promised that I would write more about the Spiritual gifts vs. Ministry assignments thing, but to be honest I'm bored of that right now.

Instead, I've decided to write about the places I want to go.

I've been fortunate to have a family that loves loves loves to travel. I, however, am not exactly in that category. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy seeing places and experiencing new things, and if anyone tells me "we're going to * insert name of tropical island here*" I will do whatever they tell me. However, I have a slight travelling problem. Well, it's actually two of them. One of them is that being in a new place (especially where they don't speak English) makes me a tad anxious thanks to the Heath family (my mom's side) genes. The other issue is that after about 2 hours (give or take an hour and a half) in a car, or a few hours in an airplane I start to lose my mind. I am getting better, but very few things sound worse to me than anything over a 10 hour plane ride (it's up there with looking at a snake and the dentist). I wish I was one of those people who could just settle in and read a book for 72 hours straight or sleep in planes/cars but I'm not. I try very hard, and I have been getting better... but I like to be doing things not sitting.

Inspite of all this, there are places that I would gladly overcome my self diagnosed ADD issues to visit.

Numero Uno being Greece. Who wouldn't want to see that?

My dad says it's dirty and he won't take me there, but that's ok. I'll go without him. Hopefully, some day I will be able to scrounge up the money (and someone to go with) and spend some time over there. Something about those white buildings with blue roofs over looking that beautiful ocean is completely irresistable to me.

Where do you want to go? I will keep posting places that I want to go until enough of you tell me where you want to go... and even than i'll probably keep posting.

Spiritual Gifts Vs. Ministry Assignments

Do you know what your spiritual gift is? More importantly... Do you know what a "spiritual gift" is?

We so flippantly throw around the term spiritual gifts in Christian circles today, but do we really understand what Paul meant in his letter to the Corinthians? Does each person have a special ability given to him by God that determines where he/she should be serving in ministry for their entire lives? Can we determine these so called "gifts" by 800 question assessment tests? I am more and more convinced that we cannot, and that we aren't even right in our interpretation of what a "spiritual gift" is. 

That's just a little glimpse of what is to come... I have to go to class now so i'll write more about the other option soon. In the mean time, what do you think?

Have a splendid almost spring but feels like summer day!

Use Your Words!

Why is there so much crazy in the world?
I am daily amazed at the utter madness that some people live in. Unfortunately, these people seem to frequently cross paths with me or someone i'm close to. It makes me want to scream "what the heck is wrong with you people?!", but i'm told that that wouldn't be a good idea and so I scream it silently in my head.

Why can't people just be honest and say what they are actually feeling? I know this comes naturally to some people and is completely impossible for others, but I feel like it is something that could be taught and learned. Yes, I know that it is not always a good idea to say exactly whatever you are feeling or thinking at the exact moment you are feeling or thinking it (believe me. I know.), but is it really that hard to do that most of the time?

If people could just say how they were actually feeling I believe life would be easier. Yes it may mean that you have less friends, but the ones you have would be true friends that actually like you for who you are not just what you can give them.

What do you think? The sky might fall on us and the sun might just combust (just in case you were wondering, that's an actual line of an actual song... Just for you Mike D), but would it be better to just be honest?

Ok. Bitter rampage over. For now.

P.S. Now that i've calmed down a little bit I will say that I'm grateful that I have people in my life that stop me from saying exactly what I think at the exact moment I'm thinking it... I know I have a problem. But lying is worse.

Happy Valentines Day!

Today I decided that instead of being made more aware of my singleness by focusing on the fact that I have no adorably wonderful man in my life to send me flowers and do sweet things for me, and no adorably wonderful man for me to do sweet things for, I would buy red carnations and give them to girls who are in the same boat I'm in. My theory is that it's always nice to get flowers on Valentines Day whether they are from a man whose in love with you or not (the former would be better though...).

Since this day is about love and it is very easy to get depressed on days celebrating love when you are single, I also decided to read about love in the Bible this morning. I read 1 Cor. 13 (of course!), and 1st John 3. These passages remind us what love really is and how it acts.

So... if you don't have a romantic love do not fret! Jesus loves you more than anyone on this earth possibly could!!

Whether you have a romantic love in your life or not use this day as a reminder to love people in general and to actively share the love that you have been given from the Father of Lights who gives all good things to us (including that man/woman you get to love and who loves you!)

To those of you who make my life all the more special and full of love: I LOVE YOU!!

P.S. In regards to my last post, my sister is the one who originally put the idea in my head to drop the class. Just so you all know :-)

I Quit!

I have never quit anything in my entire life. Whether it was the numerous kinds of dance that I did from Hula/Tahitian to Ballet/Tap/Jazz or the one sport I played (tennis), or piano lessons, I was never the one that ended these endeavors. My teacher/coach/mother (she denies making me quit hula to this day) was always the one that quit, stopped showing up, or told me we lived to far away now.

Yesterday, for the first time in my entire life I quit something. Even though it's only a temporary quitting since I will have to take the class later on, it was still quiting. It was new for me, but let me tell you... IT FEELS GREAT! Now, i'm not saying that this is going to be a frequent part of my life, because that's just not me... but it felt great to have the freedom to say, "nope. I'm not going to take that class anymore, I would like to have friends and actually retain what I learn in my other classes."

I felt about an 80 pound weight lifted off of me yesterday. I was free, smiley, giggily, and lighthearted. Also, for the first time in the last two weeks I woke up this morning without bloodshot eyes that look like i've been on crack for about 8 years.

All this to say, sometimes giving up is the right thing to do.

P.S. As I was writing this I remembered that I did quit something once. I quit one classical education program to move to another one.

It's Almost Spring... And You Know What That Means!

BASEBALL IS COMING BACK!!!!

Those words bring rest to my soul. In two of the longest months of my life the sporting love of my life will return to me (and I mean baseball in general, not just Vladi... so no suggestive comments).

I discovered after the superbowl this weekend that I can not emotionally handle being fully invested in any other sport than baseball. It's too much. My mood for the day generally depends on whether the boys are winning or losing, and that is too much to carry through out the whole year. April to September (and sometimes October) is almost more than my big loyal and obssessed heart can stand. Maybe at some point in my life I will be able to handle being an avid fan of something other than baseball, but if I tried it now I might die.

Spring training starts this month and soon ESPN will be littered with news about the upcoming season, and it will finally be worth watching again.

I think I can already smell the stadium... it's a surprisingly peaceful smell (even the smell of the beer soaked people around me brings a smile to my face). It's all part of the wonderfulness that is baseball.