Don't Go Breakin' My Heart

Alright my loves. It's time to get your champion rear-ends in gear. WIN! You are NOT the Padres! You HAVE talent! (Sorry Padre fans, I just couldn't resist).

The play-offs are NOT a completely different ball game. They are the exact same ball game in fact. It's all mental!! You need to stop telling yourselves "holy crap we're playing Boston in the first round of the playoffs...AGAIN" and start telling yourselves "We beat their over payed, injured, hindparts 8 TIMES THIS SEASON!! By george we can do it now!" Than you should all start jumping around, slapping each other, and screaming (in manly voices of course) "THE RED SOX SUCK AND WE ROCK AND WE CAN CRUSH THEM WITH OUR PINKY FINGERS!!!!*insert manly grunts here*"

My heart is full of love for you and faith in you. I know you can beat them and take this series. It's time that you know that.

So, put your game faces on and WIN WIN WIN!!!!!

Oh, and what's with Youkilis' batting stance? Seriously... icky elf!

P.S. I apologize for all of the capitilization. I'm slightly passionate about this.

Take That Non-Winning Curse of Mine!

I won something for the first time EVER!

I entered a drawing at Chick-fil-a to win two tickets and meet and greet passes for the Third Day, Jars of Clay, and Switchfoot concert in Irvine... and I won!

Now the question is... who do I take with me? :-)

I'll have pictures on facebook by the end of the weekend i'm sure!

What's So Wrong With Dating Anyway?

Ambiguity drives me batty.

For the past two years i've been watching friends and acquaintances endure these relationships with the opposite sex that are some weird hybrid of friendship and dating. They are to deep to be considered "just friends" but to casual and inconsistent to be considered dating. What's up with this? The guys are so unsure about really wanting to be in a relationship and the girls, while often unsure as well, are just excited to be getting the attention that these relationships go on in a vicious cycle of frustration and hope.

I think one of the main problems might lie in the phrase "It's important for there to be a friendship first". Don't get me wrong, i'm all about friendship. I understand that the motivation for this "pre-dating" dating model is to protect hearts and minimize the need to change your status on facebook. However, to be perfectly honest most of what i've witnessed is frustration, and in the end the very thing we try so hard to avoid... heartache.

Is it so wrong to get to know someone by dating them? Wouldn't that be better than trying to manipulate situations so you get to spend time with some girl or guy you like without them knowing that you like them? Dating seemed to work for our grandparents and most of our parents, why do we think we're any different? I know what you're going to say... "but the times are different now. Dating is different." I'm perfectly aware of that fact. However I still think that maybe, just maybe, evangelicals could redeem dating.

Dating does not need to be a lifetime commitment! Going to dinner does not need to mean that you are commiting to this person for the rest of your life. Heck, you don't even need to be committing to another date with this person! I'm NOT saying that I think we should all just date whoever we feel like, without atleast the intention of a second date because I'm sure that would just leave people broken and bleeding a long the way. I am saying that I think we could all stand to grow up a little when it comes to dating relationships. I'm not promoting being a serial dater (i.e. dating more than one girl/guy in a single weekend... not that anyone has the time or money for that anyway!), I am however promoting the idea of asking that girl out that you've been interested in for 3 years but haven't had the chance to "hang out" with enough so you just keep waiting.

Men. Be brave!!! I understand that rejection sucks and girls are scary. It is true that we might reject you, but we will also respect you for having the courage to ask. Obviously I cannot speak for all women on this, but I can say that the women I have talked to about this would be incredibly impressed with your boldness. We are tired of dropping hints... please don't make us do it anymore! Also, your trash gets taken out more than the women of biola do. Think about it.

One last thing. Men, if you are not ready to begin a relationship... then don't. Not even an ambiguous one. Give the women around you enough respect that you protect them from thinking that they are only good enough to be one of your friends and nothing more, even though you spend more time with them than all of your other friends combined. Do us all a favor and be straightfoward with us.

Women, give the men a chance. Don't force them into anything they're not ready for and than expect them to step up. Understand that asking you out is difficult and give them some grace. Also, stand up for yourself! Don't allow ambiguity. Don't be a crazy person, but be strong enough to know where to draw boundary lines if you see yourself heading for one of those weird hybrid relationships.

No matter what. Be clear! If you want a second date, say so. If you don't, say so! Don't leave the girl/guy wondering about where this might be going. That only leads to stalker situations ;-).

I am by no means the authority on this subject, and I'm sure this is not a perfect solution to the problem. I would love to know what you people out there think about this. Do you think we can redeem dating and lessen the frustration? I do.

P.S. Guys, I know there is a lot of a pressure on you financially and creatively when it comes to dating. However that came about, I'm very sorry for it. The girls you really want to get to know are the type that don't care if your first date is at a fancy restaurant or a park, or if your second date is bigger and better than the first. You can relax. Look for the girls that will just be happy to be hanging out with you! 

Sweet Community

"The solitary traveler may get to the end of the journey faster, and indeed he may gain riches along the way as he leaves the weak and the slow behind him and is not required to share what he finds. However, he will also know pits out which he must dig himself, unrelentingly cold nights, and lonely battles. He will in the end see no profits from it all, for the gain we make from our toil is found in the toil itself, completed in the context of our whole lives lived out before God and in the company of others to whom we are intrinsically and healthily connected as creatures of God. In community our lives are strong and enduring,, like the rope "of three strands." The fool's individualistic life is, by contrast, weak and destined to be broken." -Iain Provan

We need people. We have been designed for community and our lives are "meaningless" without it. Ecclesiastes clearly presents the contrast of the wise man and the foolish man (as does proverbs). Guess what, the wise man is the one who, while working as he should, does not strive continually after gain that is always just beyond his grasp. He knows the balance that must be found in life between sloth and toil. Our constant striving for more is not only a slap in the face of the God who gave us more than we need, but it is a recipe for certain disaster in the end. It is impossible to strive after gain for your entire life without trampling over the people around you. Families are broken, friendships are destroyed, and the individuals life, in the end, accounts for nothing. So you have great wealth, do you have someone with whom to enjoy what your work has brought you? So you have more than your neighbor, is your family bruised and bleeding along side the road of your life? In the end the same fate befits us all. Our wealth, possessions, and awards will not follow us into eternity. Life on this earth is but a breath and it is a wasted breath if it is not lived out under the joy of God; under the freeing, unstoppable view of his sovereignty. God is in control and no matter how hard we try we cannot change or stop what He has set in motion. What a comforting thought! Having wealth or not is not the important part here. The important part is how your life is lived. Is it lived in relationship or is it lived in constant discontentment and striving? So you may have wealth, is it worth forfeiting your soul?

This idea is hanging heavy over me. At the end of my career at Biola what will be said of me? Will I have fantastic grades, remember every detail about the Bible, know the Greek backwards and forwards (ha!) and be able to lord my knowledge over all of the "common people" (i.e. non-bible majors- please know that I am simply showing how rediculous the level of arrogance that is all to often associated with those in this department is, and that I don't think that!)? Or will I be known as a woman who sought the Lord with all her heart, a woman who loved as Jesus loved, a woman who spent these four years in relationship with the people that God has placed in her life, a woman who lived out the Gospel in relationship with others, even if it means not graduating with honors. Will I be part of a community that keeps each other warm on cold nights, fights each others battles, and helps dig each other out of the pits that life throws us in? By God's grace, yes.

I apologize if this comes off a little on the guilt-laden side, it really isn't meant to! Those who know me well, know that I am very passionate (to a fault sometimes), and usually end up having to apologize for what I say. I hope this isn't one of those cases :-)

They Probably Think I'm Crazy

My RC and his wife came over for cookies last night, and while they were walking over I locked us out of my apartment.

True story.

Seriously?

Our screen door locked us in this morning until Heidi broke it.

I'm about to start running around campus and screaming "MAINTENANCE!!!!"

I love my major so much. I get to learn about the Bible for my school! No math, no science, no English (because I keep putting it off)... it's beautiful.

Our Pets Heads Are Falling Off...

After approximately a week in the Apartment it suddenly turned on us. It all started with the shower curtain.

We were all minding our own business when "BAM!" (no... not batman) the shower curtain comes tumbling to the ground, never to return to it's position for very long ever again. Turns out, that when the tile gets moist (as it is prone to do in a shower!) the curtain rod can't handle it and it falls. This wasn't too much of a problem until it fell on me. That hurt. So, now the shower curtain is serving absolutely no purpose at all and is actually hanging over a clothes rack in my bedroom so it can dry out until we can put it back up. Showering is quite a difficult task when one has no shower curtain or shower door. It's also very cold.

After the shower curtain fiasco, mirrors and picture frames began jumping from their positions on the walls and our beloved air conditioner decided it was taking Labor day off as well. It has yet to return. Next was the screen door. Now we have to very carefully close our door so that the spring that normally pulls the screen shut, does not put giant holes into our door. Oh yeah, and the first day we moved in our garage door broke twice.

After all of this stuff started breaking voluntarily, I started dropping and/or breaking everything I touched. A bag I was using to carry movies, a sandwich griller, and some cookbooks broke and the contents scattered across the floor. Fortunately, my RC (resident coordinator) was walking into the apartment complex at the same time and helped me gather up my belongings and bring them to my apartment. Right as he was leaving a bag that I had placed on my desk fell over and scattered caramel chex that my apartment-mate had made all over the floor. I just rolled my eyes. On my way back from playing tennis my bag broke, and I knocked a picture frame off the wall in my RC's apartment when we went to bring him and his wife a movie they wanted to borrow.

I'm so glad it's no longer yesterday. So far, today has been much less clumsy. Oh maintenence please come soon!

After all this all I can really do is just laugh. It keeps the tears from coming. Isn't life funny!

It's Only Taken Me Two Years

I start my third year of college tomorrow morning at 8am. Most people fall in love with their school or at least some experience they are having in college within the first year (sometimes first week), but my experience has been quite different. My freshman year I wanted to leave more than anything, but stuck it out. Sophomore year I was fine, but still not really excited about it.

Sophomore year changed everything. God answered a huge prayer in my life and provided me with not only a small, close group of girls but also with a floor full of girls that brought so much joy to my life and I consider them very dear friends. God is so faithful and His timing is perfect. Freshman year I needed Him not more people and He knew that. Sophomore year, I needed those relationships along with Him. I'm so blessed by who God has placed in my life to be my closest friends. They are women (and some men) that follow hard after God and daily seek to fix their eyes on what really matters... Christ.

Junior year is starting out beautifully and I am full of hope for an even brighter next couple of years. I moved into my first apartment with my 3 best friends and already God is revealing his divine purpose and plan in it. We need each other and we know it.

My roommate and I talked last night about our feelings of restlessness and anxiety and she showed me an Amy Carmichael devotional she had just started reading. The page and a half was devoted to being at home in Christ. No matter where our physical bodies are, or how little we know about where we are going, we are home. May we daily be reminded of what really matters. Christ.

I had heard this before and saw it again on a friends facebook. It clearly sums up what our lives should look like as Christians. Be encouraged my friends, Christ is near and ever so capable of accomplishing what needs to be done in our lives and hearts.

"Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ on my right, Christ on my left, Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit, Christ when I stand, Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me, Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me, Christ in every eye that sees me, Christ in every ear that hears me. - St. Patrick

The Ocean Is Big And Powerful And There Are Sharks In It.

Day four has been lovely. We spent the day at two different beaches snorkeling, stopping for lunch and for icecream in between and then finished up the day at the pool.

Today has been another reminder of one constan problem in my life... My fear of (or healthy respect for) the ocean. I want to enjoy snorkeling and swimming but all I can think about is the fact that at any minute some giant sea creature could come and eat me and I can't swim well enough to deal with currents.

Now the hotel waterslide? THAT I have mastered.

Day 3 in Maui

I ACCIDENTALLY gave the pool boy my room key today. Luckily he's an upstanding citizen who informed me that that was not my towel card.

Good times.

Well Hello There!

Ok so it's been almost a month since I last wrote because since that last time I wrote I have done... NOTHING! My life has consisted of data entry, the gym, and eating back every calorie I just burned, and believe me you don't want to hear about any of those.

So why, you may ask, am I suddenly writing again? Did something interesting happen that I just absolutely had to write about? No! I just thought I'd tell all y'all that Saturday morning at 10am I am boarding a plane for Maui! Then I will spend the rest of my week swimming, relaxing, kayaking, hiking, running on the beach (ok, so that will probably turn into crying on the beach, but i'm going to try), and most importantly eating! I will return a week from Sunday and I will be very tan and relaxed and mostly likely have very frizzy hair.

The day after I return I will be moving into my apartment with my lovely new roommates who I am so excited to finally be living with. School starts the 27th which I am strangely also excited about... that will last about a month and a half and than mid-october will role around and I'll cry.

Maybe after all this I will have something interesting or atleast mildly entertaining to write about. Don't hold your breath.

I'm making pasta with zuchinni and tomatoes in a cream sauce for dinner. Jealous much?

Quote of the day: "I'm sorry I must have been sleep punching" -Afton

The Kern River is Cold... Cold and Awesome.

If you were wondering why I haven't posted in a week (which i'm sure you're not, since that's about how often I post anyways), it's because I have been in a lovely little place called Johnsondale. It's about 30 minutes above Kernville and it's fantastic. My family spends a few weeks a year at our cabin up there and I join them when I can. This summer we spent two of the three days I was up there floating in rafty things in the Kern River. Pop quiz! Where do mountain rivers get there water from? That's right! Melted Snow! It was cold. Cold but surprisingly relaxing. My sisters and I also spent some time singing and playing bluegrass music together (all two of the songs we know). One guitar (the other wouldn't tune right), one banjo, and two voices adds up to a lot of fun. We're thinking about playing both our songs at the Temecula Bluegrass Festival next year... ;-) 

But, it all seriousness how many times in our busy lives do we get to spend hours during the day floating around in circles, trying not to get carried down stream and the evening serenading our neighbors with "I'll Fly Away" and "Will the Circle be Unbroken"? Not many my friends, not many. Fortunately for me, now that we have rafty things I get to spend at least a few days a year floating in a river and hopefully we'll learn more songs for next year.

Life is good :-)

There's A Cookie For Everything

Today I bought a gingerbread cookie in what appears to be the shape of a manitee.

Why would anyone shape a cookie into a manitee on purpose (well, besides my manitee obsessed sister Cate)? I think it was supposed to be something else, but if it was, that person should be fired or told that their talents lie elsewhere... not in shaping gingerbread cookies.

So now i'm curious... What's the weirdest shaped cookie you've eaten or seen?

My New Favorite Thing

Two words: Google Earth.

I downloaded google earth yesterday and I've been having loads of fun since than. Today i've been to the Pyramids, the Eiffel Tower, Kuwait (not my idea!), Outer Space, my sister's house, my friend Lydia's house, and Greece. It's been a busy morning. Don't worry, I promise I won't staulk anybody to much. Oh calm down, I kid! I won't staulk anyone at all!!

Yesterday I went to San Francisco. It was fun. Even though this is keeping my short short attention span occupied and entertained for hours, it's still pretty creepy. People can look at your house!!! My car is actually in the shot of my sister's house... weird. If you go to my parents house on Google Earth my sister's horse looks like a skeleton. It's gross.

Amanda just told me it was April and Afton just accidentally threw my mail on the ground. Carbon Monoxide leak? I think so.

Blah, Blah, Blah

Does nothing happen in my life or am I just bad at recalling stories in interesting ways? I can't figure out how to write on my blog regularly when there doesn't seem to be anything to say! I start to write, and than all that comes out is "And than she said 'bah bah bah', and than I hit her".

Seriously. I'll get back to you when something happens or I have a thought (thought's are not flowing very freely right now... its been rough). 

Giftings

Everyone has a gifting... something they excel at, something they get a thrill from when everyone else wants to vomit when think about performing that task.

 I'm thinking about adding "ripping paper to make it look old around the edges" to mine. I just got very good at it. 

More Than You Wanted to Know About Not Very Much

Hello my loyal readers! (all two of you!)

I know it's been a long time since I wrote, I got bored with myself and just had nothing to say. But! I'm back! Still pretty much bored with myself, but I have stuff to say about the Saddleback Worship Conference that me and 8 others from our team attended this past week. Here is a condensed version of things I learned and experiences we had this week.

1). Leeland is cool and a he paces... a lot.

2). As much as I appreciate Gospel music, I can still only handle about 20 minutes of it. The repetition gets to me, but I love how God ministers to different people through different types of music. I like more of the rock stuff... David Upton anyone? 

3). Rick Muchow still dances

4). Christy Knockels and Buddy Owens preached exactly what I needed to hear.

5). I Went to some songwriting workshops and got some really good advice and insight into writing from some of the top worship songwriters out there.

6). Guys are gross no matter what age they are, but also a whole lot of fun:-)

7). Drums are so much more of an art form than i've ever known before

8). When 3,000 worship leaders and band members are singing along with a choir and full band you can't hear when the fire alarm goes off.

9). I ran into someone that used to be a leader in my Jr. High youth group who I haven't seen since Jr. High (Hi Bobby!)

10). Tim Davis hugged me

11). 90% of Erin Wible's jokes go right over my head.

12). I sang one of my songs at an open mic thing and wasn't booed off the stage! 

13). God is incredibly faithful

Hi, My Name is Ellie and I'm a Baseball-aholic

I just voted 25 times (the maximum amount allowed) for every single Anaheim Angel that was nominated for the 2008 All-Star game and entered a contest to win a trip to the game and the Homerun Derby. If you haven't figured it out already... I love baseball.

The All-Star game is in New York this year (Yankee Stadium). If I won that contest I could not only go to the All-Star game for free, but I could go to New York for free and get paid $2000! New York... Baseball.. $2000... free!!! YAY!!!!! Everybody do a little jig with me! The only problem is... I never win anything. Let's hope that changes because I've entered two contests now to win trips to games (one in Chicago which gives you $500 to spend). Everybody pray I win. Ok? If I win I might take you... actually, probably not. Please don't get angry. Just think good happy thoughts... See don't you feel better? Ok, where was I... oh yeah, baseball! Yay!

Both of these trips combine 3 things I love. 1)Baseball. 2)Shopping. 3)visiting big cities that i've never been to before and am dying to go to (i.e. NY and Chicago).

Until then, I will continue to loyally and fiercely love and defend my Angels (Vlad Guerrero in particular... i loved him before he became the face of the Angels by the way!)

Hospitable: It's easier to be than to spell

Paul has a very clear list of qualifications for elders and deacons of the church in 1st/2nd Tim. and Titus. How seriously does the church today take these qualifications? Of course we look at the negative ones like making sure he is not cheating on his wife, an alcoholic, greedy with his money, and has a bad temper, and we do our best to keep people who have demonstrated those characteristics out of leadership in the church. However, do we look carefully at the the characteristics he should be showing? Is he hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined? If he's not the negative things than he must be the positive ones right? Wrong. 

This post is going to be focused on the area of hospitality and how so many of the men and women who serve so faithfully in the church are often overlooking this one qualification. The early church and Paul knew what hospitality is. In fact, that culture still does. They would be appalled at our lack of an open door policy. Our western culture is so concerned with privacy and having time to ourselves that we miss out on the ministry that simply keeping our porch light on and actually being home is. Don't get me wrong, there is a balance that must be had for the sake of the family unit. Also, hospitality does not mean allowing yourself to be used and abused by anyone who feels like coming to your house at midnight and staying until they feel like they've been ministered to on a regular basis. Rather it is people who are really in need knowing that you are available, it is inviting your small group to your house for a barbecue more than once a year, it is opening your home to new people in the church and the community, it is taking cookies to your new neighbors, it is taking meals to the sick the poor and the needy, it is opening our eyes to the need around us and doing something about it even if it means we don't get that bubble bath we've been dying for because someone showed up and needs love. 

My prayer is that we as the body of Christ would take seriously the charge to be hospitable, and open our hearts as well as our doors. 

If you would like to see how the body of Christ can minister to people because of one woman's heart and ideas to reach the community around her for Christ and take care of the poor and the needy, check out these websites.

www.thebrooktemecula.com

www.randomacts245.com 

Maybe Next Time...

My song was not chosen for the Songseeker competition this year, but that's ok. Seriously.

I'll keep writing and hopefully by next year I will have improved, and i'll enter again. I didn't expect to be chosen but the confirmation of it is still a little dissapointing.

No matter what, God is teaching me so much about Himself and about myself through the process of writing these songs. First of all, He has given me the ability to somewhat express the difficulty of the last few years and how through it all He is faithful and He is my hope in this life. As I play through or read through the songs that I've written over the last few years I can see a definite pattern. Pain, darkness, a desperation for Him, and in the end... Hope. Hope because He is faithful and loving and He is there with me whether I see or feel him or not. I can't tell you how many times I've felt like He was no where to be found over these past few years, but I can tell you that He was there. He IS here. He is the light that shines in the darkness even when we are blind to it. No matter how big the problem, no matter how devastating... He will carry you through. You'll see when the other side comes.

When the darkness consumes my day
and I feel like, you've turned away
when I'm straining to see
the dimming glow of your face
and it seems gone without a trace

In the darkness I'll believe
what you've shown me in the light
and I will wait, I'll wait on you
I will wait, I'll wait on you.

When the darkness consumes my night
I cant remember the last time I saw the light
But I remember the price
the price that You paid
So even if the dark never fades
I'll proclaim your truth today
(Copyright 2008)